So I was thinking about the special gifts that I will try to buy for Christmas and where, and guess what- those stores have closed. I may have to re-think the whole process...
Hillary has announced (for whatever it is worth) that she is not going to run for anymore political offices after the one she's got. I guess that is is a relief for us, but Bill better shape up- since she'll be home!
Max hasn't been too happy lately because it is so cold and gets dark so early. He is raring to go almost anytime, though. Interestingly enough, we found out he loves tortillas!. If I give him one, he'll shake it to be sure it is dead, then play with it outside for a while, then bring it in and slowly savor it as he eats it. It must be in his blood!
Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.
See the PC Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a ' Holiday '.
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda..
As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears
You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.
Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-is-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !
At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace
The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree'
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS , Not Happy Holiday !
On the second day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the third day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the forth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the fifth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the sixth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the seventh day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the eighth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the ninth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the tenth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, tin of Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 11 rasslin' tickets
tin of Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 12 pack of Bud
11 rasslin' tickets
tin of Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
(The crowd went wild with cheering and clapping that lasted for five long minutes).
She continued...........................
"Afta da first day, I nevah see nuffing,
Afta da second day I nevah see nuffing,
but afta da fird day, I could see a little bit out of my leff eye."
The Twelve Days of a Redneck Christmas .
On the first day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, Some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the first day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, Some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the second day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the third day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the forth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the fifth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the sixth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the seventh day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the eighth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the ninth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the tenth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, tin of Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 11 rasslin' tickets
tin of Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me, 12 pack of Bud
11 rasslin' tickets
tin of Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
WOMEN'S RIGHTS
The following took place at an international conference for women's rights.
The first speaker, a lady from England stood and said, "During last year's conference, we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well, after the conference, I went home and told my husband, Barrington, that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day, I saw nothing. The second day, I saw nothing, but on the third day, I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."
(The crowd cheered).
The second speaker from Russia, stood up and said, "After last year's conference, I went home and told my husband, Ivan, that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself.The first day, I saw nothing. After the second day, I saw nothing, but on the third day, I saw that he had done not only his own washing, but mine as well.
(The crowd again cheered).
The third speaker, a Jamaican lady, stood up and said," After lass year's conference, I wen home and tole dat lazy husband of mines, Dingo Jack, dat I was froo pickin up his beer cans, cookin his tucker and washing his undaweah and dat he was goin to haf to do dem himself.
The following took place at an international conference for women's rights.
The first speaker, a lady from England stood and said, "During last year's conference, we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well, after the conference, I went home and told my husband, Barrington, that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day, I saw nothing. The second day, I saw nothing, but on the third day, I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."
(The crowd cheered).
The second speaker from Russia, stood up and said, "After last year's conference, I went home and told my husband, Ivan, that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself.The first day, I saw nothing. After the second day, I saw nothing, but on the third day, I saw that he had done not only his own washing, but mine as well.
(The crowd again cheered).
The third speaker, a Jamaican lady, stood up and said," After lass year's conference, I wen home and tole dat lazy husband of mines, Dingo Jack, dat I was froo pickin up his beer cans, cookin his tucker and washing his undaweah and dat he was goin to haf to do dem himself.
(The crowd went wild with cheering and clapping that lasted for five long minutes).
She continued...........................
"Afta da first day, I nevah see nuffing,
Afta da second day I nevah see nuffing,
but afta da fird day, I could see a little bit out of my leff eye."
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