So we finally got to see the oral surgeon today and Tori is okay except for some minor swelling.
Isn't it interesting how the BP oil spill is not in the news anymore ? Do we all actually believe that they have cleaned up everything ? Aren't they going to get fined ? How long do they have to wait ?
So now I have digital TV service from COX and have over 600 channels and can't find anything worth watching. I'm really not surprised, but utterly amazed! The one feature that I really like is the on-screen TV-guide. Unfortunately, not only does it provide "new" or "rerun" information, but it is also inaccurate as to what is actually showing. I would have expected that if programming changes that an electronic guide would be easy to keep accurate, but I was wrong....
If women were on the periodic table
Element name: WOMAN Isn't it interesting how the BP oil spill is not in the news anymore ? Do we all actually believe that they have cleaned up everything ? Aren't they going to get fined ? How long do they have to wait ?
So now I have digital TV service from COX and have over 600 channels and can't find anything worth watching. I'm really not surprised, but utterly amazed! The one feature that I really like is the on-screen TV-guide. Unfortunately, not only does it provide "new" or "rerun" information, but it is also inaccurate as to what is actually showing. I would have expected that if programming changes that an electronic guide would be easy to keep accurate, but I was wrong....
If women were on the periodic table
Symbol: WO
Atomic weight: (don’t even go there)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
Top 10 Signs You're Over The Hill
- When you sleep, people worry you're dead.
- Your back goes out more than you do.
- Your best friend is dating someone half their age... and aren't breaking any laws.
- You wear black socks with sandals.
- When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
- It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
- Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
- Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
- You forgot that you already had your 50th birthday.
Famous Quotes About Getting Old
- I much prefer being over the hill to being under it. ~Bruce Lansky
- At my age I don't care if my mind starts to wander- just as long as it comes back again. ~Mike Knowles
- Middle age is when a narrow waist and a broad mind begin to change places. ~Glenn Dorenbush
- When you can finally afford the rings you want, you'd rather no one noticed your hands. ~Lois Muehl
- A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. ~Henny Youngman
Poem By Leo RosenbergFirst you forget names,
then you forget faces,
then you forget to pull your zipper up,
then you forget to pull your zipper down.
What'd You Think?
Genuine Answers From a 16 Year Old
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Simple, Keep it in the cow.
Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.
With the last one funniest of all
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Simple, Keep it in the cow.
Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.
With the last one funniest of all
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head.
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