Last evening we saw a movie called "Orange County" that was actually pretty funny. We watched it because it was conveniently available AND it was partially filmed at Occidental. I guess many films are made there as they are pretty convenient and cooperative.
Today we went to the oral surgeon for Tori and she had her panoramic x-ray to look at her wisdom teeth. All four are impacted and will have to come out tomorrow morning.
I agree that they have the right to put a mosque by Ground Zero, but I think it is in poor taste. It will (no doubt) have issues getting built and if it is ever finished, I'm sure it will have security issues. Given that that is the case, why would someone want to do that ? The only answer that I can come up with, is "because they can" and with to "rub our noses" in the fact.
Why the US is in deep trouble
A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why.
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts.''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, '' Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in South Africa.'' His response -- click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked,
''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, "No, why do you ask?"
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Alabama who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL , on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11. Mary Landrieu, Louisiana Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
"Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere.."
The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending
fences out on the range.
Three weeks later a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in
its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book
out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed,
"It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the cow. "Your name is written inside the
cover."
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore. When an eel bites your hand and that's not what you planned
That's a moray.
When our habits are strange and our customs deranged
That's our mores.
When your horse munches straw and the bales total four
That's some more hay.
When Othello's poor wife, she gets stabbed with a knife
That's a Moor, eh?
When a Japanese knight used a sword in a fight
That's Sa...mur...ai.
Children are great!
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "Im having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
"Then why did you eat him?"
Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader.
This is Leroy's homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.
1. Fortify -
>>I axed this ho on da street, "how much?" She say "fortify."
2. Income -
>>I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife.
3. Catacomb -
>> I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody get that catacomb.
4 Foreclose -
>> If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.
5. Rectum -
>> I had two Cadillac's, but my bitch rectum both.
6. Disappointment -
>> My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment they gonna
send me back to the joint.
7. Penis -
>> I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.
8. Israel -
>> Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "man, it look fake." He
say, "Bullshit, that watch israel."
9. Undermine -
>> There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartment undermine.
10. Acoustic -
>> When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to the poolhall.
11. Iraq -
>>When we got to the poolhall, I tol' my uncle iraq, you break.
12. Stain -
>>My mother-in-law stopped by and I axed her, "Do you plan on stain for dinner?"
Furthering your education with Today's Ebonic word:
> Today's word is: "OMELETTE"
> Let us use it in a sentence.
>>"I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide."
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