I read that the there is a shortage of good news. The newspapers and websites are clogged with only bad news. On top of that, doesn't it seem like there is more bad news this year that usually ? I know that I'm ready for some good news. It always appears to be overshadowed, though. Sports have been a source of good news, depending on your perspective of course. Elections have been a good source as well, but definitely that one is short lived.
Doesn't it seem as though we have so many sources for data, and so many people are connected, that any bad news grows so quickly. Perhaps it is better that we don't all know all the news all the time as soon as it happens. Perhaps it is better to have a vacation from newspapers and the internet occasionally.
Ever wonder what a group of each animal is called ?
Antelope: A herd of antelope
Ant: A colony or An army of ants
Ape: A shrewdness of apes
Baboons: A troop of baboons
Bacteria: A culture of bacteria
Badger: A cete of badgers
Bass: A shoal of bass
Bear: A sleuth or sloth of bears
Beaver: A colony of beavers
Bee: A swarm, grist or hive of bees
Bird: A flock, flight, congregation or volery of birds
Boar: A sounder of boars
Buffalo: A herd of buffalo
Buck: A brace or clash of bucks
Caterpillar: An army of caterpillars
Cat: A clowder or clutter of cats
Cattle: A herd or drove of cattle
Chicken: A brood or peep of chickens
Chicks: A clutch or chattering of chicks
Clam: A bed of clams
Cobra: A quiver of cobras
Cockroach: An intrusion of cockroaches
Colt: A rag of colts
Cow: A kine of cows (twelve cows are A flink)
Coyote: A band of coyote
Crane: A sedge or siege of cranes
Crocodile: A float of crocodiles
Crow: A murder of crows
Cub: A litter of cubs
Curlew: A herd of curlews
Cur: A cowardice of curs
Deer: A herd of deer
Dog: A pack of dogs
Donkey: A herd or pace of asses
Dove: A dule of doves
Duck: A brace, paddling or team of ducks
Elephant: A herd of elephants
Seal: A pod of elephant seals
Elk: A gang of elks
Emus: A mob of emus
Ferret: A business or flensing of ferrets
Finches: A charm of finches
Fish: A school, shoal, run, haul, catch of fish
Fly: A swarm or business of flies
Fox: A skulk or leash of foxes
Frog: An army or colony of frogs
Geese: A flock, gaggle or skein (in flight) of geese
Giraffe: A tower of giraffes/giraffe
Gnat: A cloud or horde of gnats
Goat: A herd, tribe or trip of goats
Goldfince: A charm of goldfinches
Gorilla: A band of gorillas
Goldfish: A troubling of goldfish/goldfishes
Greyhound: A leash of greyhounds
Hare: A down or husk of hares
Hawk: A cast or kettle of hawks
Hen: A brood of hens
Heron: A hedge of herons
Hippopotamus: A bloat of hippopotamuses /hippopotami
Hog: A drift, or parcel of hogs
Horse: A team, pair or harras of horses
Hound: A pack, mute or cry of hounds
Jellyfish: A smack of jellyfish
Kangaroo: A troop or mob of kangaroos
Kitten: A kindle or litter of kittens
Lark: An ascension or exaultation of larks
Leopard: A leap (leep) of leopards
Lion: A pride of lions
Locust: A plague of locusts
Magpie: A tiding of magpies
Mallard: A sord of mallards
Mare: A stud of mares
Marten: A richness of martens
Mole: A labour of moles
Monkey: A troop of monkeys
Moose: A herd of moose
Mouse: A mischief of mice
Mule: A barren or span of mules
Owls: A parliament of owls
Otter: A romp of otters
Oxen: A yoke, drove, team or herd of oxen
Oyster: A bed of oysters
Parrot: A company of parrots
Partridge: A covey of partridges
Peacock: A muster, pride or ostentation of peacocks
Peep: A litter of peeps
Penguin: A colony,parcel or huddle of penguins
Pheasant: A nest, nide (nye) or bouquet of pheasants
Pigeon: A flock or flight of pigeons
Pig: A litter of pigs
Plover: A wing or congregation of plovers
Pony: A string of ponies
Porpoise: A pod of porpoises
Quail: A covey or bevy of quail
Rabbit: A nest of rabbits
Rat: A pack or swarm of rats
Rattlesnake: A rhumba of rattlesnakes
Raven: An unkindness of ravens
Rhino: A crash or herd of rhinos
Roebuck: A bevy of roebucks
Rook: A building or clamour of rooks
Seal: A herd or pod of seals
Sheep: A drove or flock of sheep
Snake: A nest of snakes
Snipe: A walk or wisp of snipe
Sparrow: A host of sparrows
Squirrel: A dray or scurry of squirrels
Starling: A murmuration of starlings
Stork: A mustering of storks
Swallow: A flight of swallows
Swan: A bevy, herd, lamentation or wedge of swans
Swift: A flock of swifts
Swine: A sounder or drift of swine
Teal: A spring of teal
Tiger: A swift or ambush of tigers
Toad: A knot of toads
Trout: A hover of trout
Turkey: A rafter of turkeys
Turtledove: A pitying or dule of turtledoves
Turtle: A bale of turtles
Walrus: A pod of walrus
Whale: A school, gam or pod of whales
Viper: A nest of vipers
Wolf: A pack or route of wolves
Woodcock: A fall of woodcocks
Woodpecker: A descent of woodpeckers
Zebra: A herd,zeal or dazzle of zebras
Mommy Dearest!
As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, "Mom, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, "Mommy is gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.
When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face and tears down her face.
I said, "What's wrong honey?"
Sad and broken up she looked at me and said -
"Mommy, where's my booger?
Just wondering
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? How do you get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it considered a ham-hock?
If a turtle lost his shell, is he homeless or naked?
If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If I save time, when do I get it back?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do?
Rectum Wins
One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge. The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The hands said "Without me we wouldn't be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The stomach said "I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The legs said "Without me we wouldn't be able to move anywhere. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
Then the rectum said "I think I should be in charge."
All the rest of the parts said "YOU?!? You don't do anything! You're not important! You can't be in charge."
So the rectum closed up.
After a few days, the legs were all wobbly, the stomach was all queasy, the hands were all shaky, the eyes were all watery, and the brain was all cloudy. They all agreed that they couldn't take any more of this and agreed to put the rectum in charge.
The moral of the story?
You don't have to be the most important to be in charge, just be an asshole!
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