I watched the live feed from BP's antics at the wellhead this morning (DeepWater). It has certainly convinced me how difficult a task this effort is. The unfortunate fact, though, is that oil companies are NOT required to accommodate these kind of reparations before the drilling even starts. They should have many types of emergency measure moth-balled and waiting for when they are needed.
The Europeans are upset because the government want to raise the retirement age (Wait to Retire). Since they have so many benefits already, including long vacations; wouldn't it seem that their workers should last longer than ours ? Unless something drastic happens, I can't imagine being totally retired, ever...
W went down to the Mission after work and viewed the I Modonnari chalk drawing on the pavement. It was pretty impressive! Here is an example: Doesn't it look just like a photograph ?
Amazing!
Deathbed
A Jew was on his deathbed, and his family was gathered round him. He calls for his wife. “I’m here, honey.” He then called for his daughters. Both of them replied: “ Here, Papa.” Then he called for his sons. : We’re here, Dad.” So he shouts: “ Then who the H___ is minding the store?” and dies.
A soldier ran up to a nun.
Out of breath he asked, 'Please, may I hide under your skirt.. I'll explain later.' The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked,
Sister, have you seen a soldier?' The nun replied, 'He went that way..'
After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and
said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq
.' The nun said, 'I understand completely.'
The soldier added, 'I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!'
The nun replied, 'If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a
great pair of balls.....I don't want to go to Iraq either.
When I was younger.....
I hated going to weddings ... it seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, YOUR NEXT.
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
The hired help:
An old man and women owned a farm. The old man died and the woman couldn't handle the farm by herself so she was going to hire someone to help her. The only job applicants were the town drunk and a new guy in town, who was gay. So she chose the gay guy; they worked together for a week or so and got the farm back together. The old woman was pleased with the work and worn out, so she decided to give herself and her hired hand the night off. Both went out to dinner, she with her friends and he with his. But when the old woman got home, he wasn't there. When he finally came in, she told him, “I'm your boss so you have to do what I tell you.”
The gay guy said, “Okay.”
So she said, “Take my shoes off,” so he did.
She said, “Take my stockings off,” so he did.
Then she said, “Take my dress off,” and he did.
She said, “Take my bra off,” so he did.
Then she said, “Take my panties off,” so he did.
Finally, she said, “You leave this house wearing my clothes one more time and you're fired.”
Confusious Say
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. Man who stand on toilet high on pot.
It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy.
to park meat in girl.
Man who jizz in cash register come into money.
Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.
Man who fart in church must sit in own pew.
Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.
Baseball wrong--man with four balls cannot walk.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.
Learn to masturbate--come in handy.
Virgin like balloon--one prick, all gone.
The Wit and Wisdom of Homer J. Simpson
"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs." "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."
"Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel."
"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."
"To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!"
"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over 50, and if its speed changed, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."
"I want to share something with you - three sentences that will get you through life:
Number one, 'Cover for me.'
Number two, 'Oh, good idea, boss.'
Number three, 'It was like that when I got here.'
"Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda."
"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'"
"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time. Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, goodnight."
"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."
"Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what's-his-name?
We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?"
"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding, you're making a scene.'"
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