For some reasons which I won't go into right now, I woke up at 5:30 this morning and "wide awake". I decided to get up. I made coffee, let out the dog (uncooperative), fed him and the cat- and here I sit, until the paper shows up.
There are some REALLY stupid people out there that is causing a big rip-off: (I quote a portion of an entry on a subscription of mine...)
My wife is a church geek. She sings on the worship team, sings in the choir, and plays flute in the church orchestra. All of her friends are also church geeks, so they tend to be ladies of decent character. But good car consumers? Not necessarily, and sometimes youth plays no factor.
My wife's best friend is a lady who hasn't always found the best way through life. In the middle-2000's she actually rented a room from us, an event which I think started an upward trend for her as she saw how people with a plan actually live their lives. She has since finished a college degree and gradually seems to be slowly casting out whatever demons haunt her.
But not her car purchases, apparently.
She had an early-2000's Buick Regal. It was a decent car but she borrowed for all of it and did so on bad credit terms because she hasn't been very good at managing her money. (Poor decision-making about car purchases and bad money management are bedfellows, of course.) Well, in 2008 the car began to have a few problems. One day, it wouldn't start, and her "mechanic" gouged her some kind of electrical issue (alternator, battery, whatever). A couple days later it happened again (good mechanic, huh?) and it was determined to be the battery. Like Johnelle, this lady should have made a beeline for the nearest gearhead(me) and like Johnelle, she lost her mind. Instead of having me look at it and help her get it under control, she drove to the nearest Chevy dealer and then that evening showed up in my driveway with a lighty-used Malibu Maxx.
I know it's not an old Kia for a choking amount of money, but... my math-inclined brain immediately threw up the red flags and wanted to know how a 37-year-old woman with poor credit and a long-time $15/hr-ish job could possibly afford this car when the other one wasn't paid for. So while examining the car, I inquired. Here is what I learned:
(1) She didn't know the purchase price of the car. In disbelief to my first inquiry about its price, I pressed her. She literally did not know. She didn't ask, and she didn't read the contract, but thought the price was in the mid-14's. Whatever it was, you *know* it wasn't discounted.
(2) The dealer agreed to take the Buick and "roll" the amount owed on it into the price of the Malibu Maxx.
(3) She put down no money.
(4) The financing terms were also not known, but from her description it was 60 or 72 months at 14%. That's not a typo.
When I asked her why she did this, she trotted out the usual clap about "I have to have something reliable." I said nothing at all to her because it would just be pearls before swine. I just admired the car (it IS nice).
When she left, I told my wife everything her friend had done and expressed my shock and disappointment. WHY wouldn't you ask for my help? You know I would surely give it. You know I would give you sound advice. (I spend about 1/4 what she does for transportation and I have two cars and two drivers.) Worse, how can you be a repeated moron with regard to the money? How can you not even read what you just signed?
Talk about seeing her coming! The sales guy could barely believe his good luck. She drives up in a Buick and promptly tell them it's having trouble. She's more than 100 pounds overweight, has a Kentucky twang, and has some very odd mannerisms. She told me that they (presumably the sales guy and his mgr) were telling her that spending more was a good investment, and she didn't argue with them. They played her like a (large) bass fiddle and she never knew it.
You don't HAVE to make this stuff up. There is an endless parade of morons capable of providing entertainment of this variety.
Don't get me started on my tenant. (I own a small rental house.) She did the same thing with a minivan, despite having only two children and no husband. I told her (unsolicited) that she should take the van back and hand them the keys. Her credit is already trashed; what would it matter? She still has it. It's been wrecked once. It's not in good repair. And she still owes thousands more than it could ever sell for. <Shrug.> As long as she pays the rent...
These are the kind of people that never miss a chance to vote, which unfortunately, make Meg Whitman look good after not voting for the last 28 elections. Unfortunately, these kind of people are one of our biggest problems.
With that, we are off to some friends' for a holiday BBQ...
A Matter Of Perspective
WANTS AND NEEDS (wontz and needz) n. female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.
male: Food, sex and beer.
THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car's hood.
male: The Strap fastener on a woman's bra.
GLASS CEILING (glas see-ling) n. female: The invisible barrier that Stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.
male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to an other.
male: Playing ball without a cup.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.
BUTT (but) n. female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
male: The organ of mooning (and flatulence).
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. female: A good movie, concert, play Or book.
male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.
MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
male: What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 minutes.
TASTE (tayst) v. female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make sure it's good.
male: Something you must do to anything you think has Gone Seriously Bad, prior to tossing it out.
Bathroom Grafitti
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Go ahead and take risks... just be sure that everything will turn out OK.
Good judgment comes from experience...... and a lot of that comes from bad judgment ! Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Gene Police: YOU.. Out of the pool! A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
Clones are people, two. Rap is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not
Dyslexics have more nuf. Ground Beef: A cow with no legs.
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check. There are two theories about arguing with a woman. . . neither one works!
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it up and put it back in your pocket.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as warning to others. Paranoids are people too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.
Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
Change is inevitable....except from vending machines. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Asking a stupid question is better than repairing a stupid mistake. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.
Two wrongs are only the beginning. No one ever says,"It's only a game," when their team is winning.
I believe that five out of four people have trouble with fractions. What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they grow older, then it dawned on me..... they were cramming for their finals.
20 Things To Do In A Drive Through Lane
1. Stand close to the speaker and yell your order, using colorful expletives in ways which would embarrass the patrons inside.
2. Drive through backwards.
3. Belch your order.
4. After ordering, cover the speaker and mic with transparent tape. Watch as customers and order-takers are unable to hear each other and, thus, each raises his/her volume.
5. Barter. Offer a Whopper for a Big Mac.
6. Walk through.
7. Speak a foreign language (make one up if you have to). When the manager comes to the mic, speak English and inquire as to why the order taker had such difficulty understanding you.
8. Repeat everything the order-taker says.
9. Attempt to take the order-takers order ("Hi, may I take your order?") before they get a chance to take yours.
10. Order confusing items, i.e., "Hi, I'll have a large orange Coke and a small medium fries, please."
11. In a crowded drive-thru line, place a HUGE order, then slip out of line and watch the fun as the person behind you is handed 40 bags of food.
12. When you arrive at the window to pick up your food, hand them several bags of garbage & ask if they'll dispose of it for you. Make sure it smells.
13. Drive through with a carload of naked people.
14. Speak in such a garbled fashion that the order-taker will think there is a problem with the speaker and ask you to order at the window. When you arrive at the window, speak in the same garbled, incomprehensible fashion.
15. Drive through with someone on the hood to accept the food.
16. Bring along a Mr. Microphone. When the order-taker speaks, aim the mic at their speaker but do so while aiming the Mr. Microphone speaker at the mic to produce excruciating feedback of their own voice.
17. One word: Flatulence!
18. Have a friend hide in the trunk. When you approach the window to pickup your order, have him start yelling and banging his fists on the trunk.
19. If you are a male, have a female friend place the order by speaking VERY seductively and suggestively into the speaker. When she finishes, have her hide and pull up to accept your order. See how many of the order-takers fellow employees have been called over to the window to "check out the babe".
20. Change a flat tire in the drive-thru lane.
2. Drive through backwards.
3. Belch your order.
4. After ordering, cover the speaker and mic with transparent tape. Watch as customers and order-takers are unable to hear each other and, thus, each raises his/her volume.
5. Barter. Offer a Whopper for a Big Mac.
6. Walk through.
7. Speak a foreign language (make one up if you have to). When the manager comes to the mic, speak English and inquire as to why the order taker had such difficulty understanding you.
8. Repeat everything the order-taker says.
9. Attempt to take the order-takers order ("Hi, may I take your order?") before they get a chance to take yours.
10. Order confusing items, i.e., "Hi, I'll have a large orange Coke and a small medium fries, please."
11. In a crowded drive-thru line, place a HUGE order, then slip out of line and watch the fun as the person behind you is handed 40 bags of food.
12. When you arrive at the window to pick up your food, hand them several bags of garbage & ask if they'll dispose of it for you. Make sure it smells.
13. Drive through with a carload of naked people.
14. Speak in such a garbled fashion that the order-taker will think there is a problem with the speaker and ask you to order at the window. When you arrive at the window, speak in the same garbled, incomprehensible fashion.
15. Drive through with someone on the hood to accept the food.
16. Bring along a Mr. Microphone. When the order-taker speaks, aim the mic at their speaker but do so while aiming the Mr. Microphone speaker at the mic to produce excruciating feedback of their own voice.
17. One word: Flatulence!
18. Have a friend hide in the trunk. When you approach the window to pickup your order, have him start yelling and banging his fists on the trunk.
19. If you are a male, have a female friend place the order by speaking VERY seductively and suggestively into the speaker. When she finishes, have her hide and pull up to accept your order. See how many of the order-takers fellow employees have been called over to the window to "check out the babe".
20. Change a flat tire in the drive-thru lane.
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