Still moving slowly...

"Deja Moo - The feeling you've heard this BULL before"

I'm finally beginning to see the "end of the tunnel" with my cold, so of course, it is now getting cloudy and supposed to rain tonight!  So the Olympics are finally over and I can stop complaining about the poor scheduling of coverage.  I hope some other network gets a chance net time.  It did get me to thinking, though, about one show that I really miss, ABC's "Wide World of Sports".  I used to watch Jim McKay almost every weekend.  Remember this, "Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport… the thrill of victory… and the agony of defeat… the human drama of athletic competition… This is ABC's Wide World of Sports!"  And we would watch skiers fall, ski jumpers fall, et cetera, et cetera.  At any rate, I never could figure why that show failed after 37 years.  It always seemed as though ABC's coverage of sports was better than NBC's.  Too bad about the Olympic coverage...nuf said.


Looking forward to Jay Leno's return to the Tonight Show tonight.  It can't be worse than his ten-o-clock fiasco, and it will probably be better than his aborted replacement was.

First-year students at N.C. State Vet School were attending their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal's body." For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the cow's butt, with drew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the dead cow's butt and then sticking it in their mouth.

When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in his butt my middle finger, but sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention!"

Life's tough, but it's even tougher if you're stupid. . . . 

Welfare Letters

The following are sentences taken from actual letters received by welfare departments on applications for support:

* I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children. I had seven but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.
* I am writing the welfare department to say my baby was born 2 years old. When do I get my money?
* Mrs. Jones had not have any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.
* I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why.
* I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.
* This is my eight child. What are you going to do about it.
* Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am living with can't eat or drink until he knows.
* I am very much annoyed to find that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.
* In answer to your letter, I have birth to a boy weighing ten pounds: I hope this is satisfactory.
* I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my three children; one of which is a mistake as you can see.
* My husband got his project cut off two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.
* Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.
* You have changed my little boy into a girl. Will this make any difference.
* I have no children as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.
* In accordance with your instruction, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
* I want money as quick as I can get, so I have been in bed with doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve I will have to send for another doctor.