Picoftheweek

Picoftheweek
Waaaaaaaay too many to count...

My Statement

"Let me emphatically say that I am not anti-Facebook (Fleecebook), anti-smart phone, anti-Microsoft, anti-Apple, anti-Google or anti-Internet. I do believe, though, that the consumer is being ripped off of his privacy, identity and purchase history. We are being herded into a Facebook corner where what we "Like" and where we go physically and on the net will be scrutinized and sold numerous times to actually corrode and erode our culture while tempting us only with convenience, high tech and flashing video screens. The unsuspecting consumers need to be aware..." - Gary Lapman

Quote of Note

“If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.”-W.C. Fields

"For the strength of the Wolf is in the Pack, and the strength of the Pack is in the Wolf." - Rudyard Kipling

"Common sense is not so common. " -Voltaire

“Fame is vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wing, but only character endures.” - Matthew McConaughey

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him"

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason" - Jerry Seinfeld

"Fleecebook is free, you (and your identity) is the product!" - Gary Lapman


"Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves." - Eric Sevareid

"'Smart' phones are only smart for the cell phone providers!" - Gary Lapman

"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." -- Charles Babbage (1791-1871)

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.” -Albert Einstein

"Technology creates the illusion of companionship without the intimacy of friendship." - unknown

"No worry, there's an app for that..." - Gary Lapman

Friday, January 29, 2010

Welcome Friday...

Well, all my trip plans are done, except for the fact that we may not go.  I'll find out Monday...  Returning to see Avatar 3D tonight, this time with Steve.  Chances are very good he would not get to see it otherwise and I want to see it again....

WORLD'S WORST FIRST DATE

On the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Sept 7,1999, Jay went into the
audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman
ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the
prize!

She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold...and the guy
had taken her skiing. It was a day trip (no over night). They
were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The
outing was fun, but relatively uneventful until they were headed
home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the
mountain when she gradually began to realize that she should not
have had that extra cafe latte and there was no rest room in the
middle of nowhere. Her companion suggested she try to hold it,
which she did for awhile.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there
came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let
her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his
car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car,
yanked her pants down and started. Unfortunately, in the deep
snow she didn't have good footing so she let her butt rest
against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on
the other side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a
real gentleman and refrained from speaking. All she could think
about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing
nature of the situation. Upon finishing, however, she soon became
aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the
young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the
car's fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to
mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.
It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to
the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the
humor, she answered her date's concerns about what was taking so
long with a reply that indeed, she was freezing her butt off and
needed some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to
cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked
imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got
the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were
faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would taking something
hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal.

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the
first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to
get her free so as she looked the other way, her first-time date
proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

Rescue accomplished, they returned to the car although for the
remainder of the trip home there wasn't much conversation and
apparently, despite their "intimate encounter," the two did not
see one another again.

As for the Tonight Show... she took the prize hands down...or
perhaps that should be "pants down."

And you thought your first date was embarrassing...




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