Waiting out the waiting game

An overcast and gloomy week is not helping to be positive and optimistic while I continue to play the waiting game.  What few positions available provide a black hole for applications.  Like entries to a million dollar contest, the applications continue to be generated by me, while the responses are nil.  Having had a telephone interview this week, I should be thankful but it seems like being forced to use training wheels before I get to ride the bike myself.  Sink or swim, if the application is appropriate for the job, time conservation would expect that getting to the meat-of-the-matter sooner would be good, but all are stretched until the breaking point.

$100 bill

I was at the drugstore and noticed a young male cashier staring at the pretty girl in front of me. Her total came to $16.42, and after handing over a $100 bill, she waited for change. "Here you go," said the cashier, smiling as he returned the proper amount. "Have a great day!"

Now I placed my items on the counter. The tally was $32.79, and I too gave the cashier a $100 bill.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. We can't accept anything larger than a fifty," he told me, pointing to a sign stating store policy.

"But you just accepted that last girl's hundred," I reasoned.

"I had to," he said. "It had her phone number on it."

Pet Care
Customer service representatives answer straightforward pet care and nutrition questions, however some calls can be quite unconventional as follows:

- "My cat just came in from the garage and I was wondering...how many calories are in a mouse?"

- "I have a neutered male cat. How old should he be before I can breed him?"

- "What should I feed a borderline collie?"

- "What size litter box do I need to keep my cat comfy?"

- "Is it normal for a dog to shed?"

- "How can I keep my cat from stealing my husband's toothbrush?"

- "My cat passed a stool on the indoor rug and it's stuck in the vacuum cleaner. Any suggestions?"

- "How can I get the secret recipe for your special dog food?"

- "How do I stop my cat from giving food to the dog?"

- "Your food turned my dog into a stud. Now what do I do?"

- "Do you know how to toilet train a cat?"

- "I have three cats. Is it true that a special brand of cat food makes the poop smell better?"

- "Will chewing pop cans remove enamel from my puppy's teeth?"

- "Where can I get a six-toed cat?"

Dinosaur Plumbing
Because I couldn't unplug the toilet with a plunger, I had to dismantle the entire fixture, no small feat for a non-plumber. Jammed inside the drain was a purple rubber dinosaur, which belonged to my five-year-old son. I painstakingly got all the toilet parts together again, the tank filled, and I flushed it.

However, it didn't work much better than before! As I pondered what to do next, my son walked into the bathroom. I pointed to the purple dinosaur I had just dislodged and told him that the toilet still wasn't working. "Did you get the green one, too?" he asked.