Realization and Acceptance

First let me apologize for not being more positive in my recent postings.  As of today, I have accepted the fact that some job postings are fake, some are exaggerated, some are impossible to fill and virtually all of them represent a black hole which sucks up applications and rarely, if ever, spits out a response- even an automated one.  

All of the preparation time and efforts and the actual time of interview engagement, whether by phone or in person, is time lost.  I have also accepted the fact that no company or HR rep cares that I am waiting.  Actually, I would be surprised to know that they even know that I exist.  After spending time going though these efforts without any fruitful returns, I can honestly blame it on societal shifts in the employment paradigm (what a load of crap, but it sounds good).  After all how many ways can I waste time and energy nowadays without playing video games?

With my attitudinal shift, I have found the beginning of peace.  I have lowered my expectations and therefore my anxiety and blood pressure.  I realize that nothing comes for free, but I feel as though I have put in my time and have reaped the benefits, albeit (love that word) negative.

Moving on, I have decided to expand my searches to non-technical, managerial and esoteric positions that don't require my experiences, but will gain from it.  My goal, then, is to become gainfully employed, but not in a comfortable and familiar position.

Irish Telephones

Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving their best scientists. Core drilling samples of earth were taken to a depth of 50m and during the core examinations, small pieces of copper were discovered. After running many arduous tests on these samples, the German government announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.

Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. So they ordered their own scientists to take their core samples at a depth of 100m. From these samples, they found small pieces of glass and soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide optical fibre network.

Irish scientists were outraged. So immediately after this announcement, they ordered their scientist to take samples at a depth of 200m but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Irish 55,000 years ago were an even more advanced civilisation, as they already had a mobile telephone network in place.

Salesman to Policeman

A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman.

Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role.

"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."

Waiting out the waiting game

An overcast and gloomy week is not helping to be positive and optimistic while I continue to play the waiting game.  What few positions available provide a black hole for applications.  Like entries to a million dollar contest, the applications continue to be generated by me, while the responses are nil.  Having had a telephone interview this week, I should be thankful but it seems like being forced to use training wheels before I get to ride the bike myself.  Sink or swim, if the application is appropriate for the job, time conservation would expect that getting to the meat-of-the-matter sooner would be good, but all are stretched until the breaking point.

$100 bill

I was at the drugstore and noticed a young male cashier staring at the pretty girl in front of me. Her total came to $16.42, and after handing over a $100 bill, she waited for change. "Here you go," said the cashier, smiling as he returned the proper amount. "Have a great day!"

Now I placed my items on the counter. The tally was $32.79, and I too gave the cashier a $100 bill.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. We can't accept anything larger than a fifty," he told me, pointing to a sign stating store policy.

"But you just accepted that last girl's hundred," I reasoned.

"I had to," he said. "It had her phone number on it."

Pet Care
Customer service representatives answer straightforward pet care and nutrition questions, however some calls can be quite unconventional as follows:

- "My cat just came in from the garage and I was wondering...how many calories are in a mouse?"

- "I have a neutered male cat. How old should he be before I can breed him?"

- "What should I feed a borderline collie?"

- "What size litter box do I need to keep my cat comfy?"

- "Is it normal for a dog to shed?"

- "How can I keep my cat from stealing my husband's toothbrush?"

- "My cat passed a stool on the indoor rug and it's stuck in the vacuum cleaner. Any suggestions?"

- "How can I get the secret recipe for your special dog food?"

- "How do I stop my cat from giving food to the dog?"

- "Your food turned my dog into a stud. Now what do I do?"

- "Do you know how to toilet train a cat?"

- "I have three cats. Is it true that a special brand of cat food makes the poop smell better?"

- "Will chewing pop cans remove enamel from my puppy's teeth?"

- "Where can I get a six-toed cat?"

Dinosaur Plumbing
Because I couldn't unplug the toilet with a plunger, I had to dismantle the entire fixture, no small feat for a non-plumber. Jammed inside the drain was a purple rubber dinosaur, which belonged to my five-year-old son. I painstakingly got all the toilet parts together again, the tank filled, and I flushed it.

However, it didn't work much better than before! As I pondered what to do next, my son walked into the bathroom. I pointed to the purple dinosaur I had just dislodged and told him that the toilet still wasn't working. "Did you get the green one, too?" he asked.

Just A Fool No More

Here I sit on All Fool's Day believing that I am the fool.  I am letting this nasty, nasty job market get the best of me.  My perspective is crisp and renewed.  All that I have to do now is to get my momentum going again.  There is a new job for me and I'm going to find it!

It is so easy to fall into depression.  I have nobody to blame for the way the market is.  It has just changed.  Metamorphosed.  It is now tougher and sleeker and faster moving than it ever was.  I have to run harder and faster just to catch up with the trends.

What will I reinvent myself as? What positions will I stretch into? What attention will be paid to me? [What can I get away with?]  I just want and need to be part of it all again, very soon...

 "April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four." -- Mark Twain