Meanwhile I have discovered a few more former work associates that were also recently laid off. I certainly don't enjoy other having to deal with my situation, but it is comforting that they are having just as much difficulty getting companies to bite on the bait that is offered.
This is definitely a sign of the times. Our disposable society has now learned how easy it is to dispose of (and forget about) an application that was electronically submitted. It has made the job of the HR representative much easier, while the applicant suffers. Considering the number of unemployed that want to get new jobs, the tables should be turned...
Aches and Pains
At a nursing home in Florida, a group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their aches and pains.
"My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.
"I know what you mean. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another.
"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a third.
"My blood pressure pills make me dizzy," another contributed.
"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man.
Then there was a short moment of silence.
"Thank God we can all still drive," said one woman cheerfully.
Murphy's Laws Of Combat
- If the enemy is in range, so are you.
- Incoming fire has the right of way.
- Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
- There is always a way.
- The easy way is always mined.
- Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
- Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
- The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: a. When you're ready for them. b. When you're not ready for them.
- Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
- If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
- The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
- A "sucking chest wound" is natures way of telling you to slow down.
- If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
- Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
- Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
- Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.
- Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
- If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in a combat zone.
- When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
- Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
New Dictionary
While I was employed by a private corporation and assigned to the space-shuttle program, my job included ordering supplies. One of the engineers asked me to get a new dictionary for him. The request form said, "State reason this item is needed," so I asked him why he wanted one.
I expected his answer would be "My old copy is lost" or "The cover is falling off." Instead he replied, "My edition defines spaceship as an 'imaginary aircraft.'" He got his new dictionary.
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