When my daughter got to high school, I decided to get a Facebook account. This was more to watch over her page and protect her from putting the wrong stuff on her page. She graduated from college this year in May, so it is high time that I stop looking at her page or my son's. Today I DEACTIVATED my account, since Fleecebook won't let you close your account down!
This was prompted because I finally have had it with my settings changing at Zuckerberg's whim. I changed my settings for notices- shut them off, then the automatic updates of the app on my phone reverses that- or loses the settings. How can I tell? My niece seems to post all kinds of crap in ten minute intervals, for the WORLD to marvel at. I don't care about being notified or even seeing what she has magically come up with since the last post. Also, my kids seem to go out of their way to post crap that pisses me off for some reason or another, so I give up. I just GIVE UP.
When I bought the smart phone (I really had no choice, if I wanted a new phone- but that's another story), it came with Fleecebook permanently installed (I'm sure they paid plenty for that).
If anybody cares, I am available by email (three accounts), cell phone, home phone, and strangely as it may seem (I guess I'm an old geezer for saying this), I'm mostly available IN-PERSON. If someone wants to share an experience, picture or invitation (not likely), I'm sure they can find me (much happier without Fleecebook notifications).
Fleecebook tells me that they are keeping my account for me while it is deactivated- SHOULD I EVER CHANGE MY MIND!
As we head into for the holidays, a friend of mine sent me some of my favorite candy. He sent two pounds.
Of course, I had to send a proper thank-you message. We chat a lot by e-mail, so that's how I sent it. The subject line was "I'm personally blaming you" -- and inside it continues "...for my holiday weight gain...."
His reply was priceless. You can sort of tell he provides services for attorneys:
THIS IS AN AUTO-RESPONDER MESSAGE
PLEASE EXCUSE THE DELAY IN THIS RESPONSE; OUR SERVERS ARE OVERLOADED WITH AUTO-RESPONSES FOR MESSAGES TO OUR DOMAINS CONTAINING THE SUBJECT
"I'm personally blaming you"
We are sorry that due to the extremely large volume of messages blaming Delbert D. Mactavish, his corporations, employees, affiliates and minions, we are unable to respond individually to your complaints.
Please be aware that we are extremely sympathetic to your concerns. We wish to sincerely apologize for any or all of the following conditions that may or may not have been directly or indirectly caused by any action or inaction of Mr. Russell D. Waters, his corporations, employees, affiliates, minions or any other construed or inconstrued agencies:
1. Unexpected pregnancy
2. Computer crashes
3. Sudden weight gain or loss
4. Dizziness
5. Urge to sign up for Hotmail
6. Desire to upgrade to Windows 8
7. Affection for the latest iPhone
8. ADD
9. ADHD
10. Any other physical, emotional, mental or extraterrestrial disorder
While our court supervised bankruptcy status will not permit remuneration now or in the future, we do deeply regret any suffering even remotely caused by our negligence, malpractice or premature rebooting.
Have a beer!
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. --Henny Youngman
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. --Michelle Mastrolacasa
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. --Tom Waits
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? --Stephen Wright
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven... --Brian O'Rourke
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline... it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. --Frank Zappa
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. --Winston Churchill
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. --Deep Thought, Jack Handy
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. --Dave Barry
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. --Humphrey Bogart
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. --David Moulton
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. --Kaiser Wilhelm
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. --Homer Simpson
All right, Brain, I don't like you... and you don't like me, so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. --Homer Simpson
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