Picoftheweek

Picoftheweek
Waaaaaaaay too many to count...

My Statement

"Let me emphatically say that I am not anti-Facebook (Fleecebook), anti-smart phone, anti-Microsoft, anti-Apple, anti-Google or anti-Internet. I do believe, though, that the consumer is being ripped off of his privacy, identity and purchase history. We are being herded into a Facebook corner where what we "Like" and where we go physically and on the net will be scrutinized and sold numerous times to actually corrode and erode our culture while tempting us only with convenience, high tech and flashing video screens. The unsuspecting consumers need to be aware..." - Gary Lapman

Quote of Note

“If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.”-W.C. Fields

"For the strength of the Wolf is in the Pack, and the strength of the Pack is in the Wolf." - Rudyard Kipling
"Common sense is not so common. " -Voltaire

“Fame is vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wing, but only character endures.” - Matthew McConaughey
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him"

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason" - Jerry Seinfeld

"Fleecebook is free, you (and your identity) is the product!" - Gary Lapman

"Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves." - Eric Sevareid

"'Smart' phones are only smart for the cell phone providers!" - Gary Lapman

"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." -- Charles Babbage (1791-1871)

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.” -Albert Einstein

"Technology creates the illusion of companionship without the intimacy of friendship." - unknown

"No worry, there's an app for that..." - Gary Lapman

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Blowhard or Not?

I am really confused.  If, on one hand, we call Rush Limbaugh a blowhard and ignore what he says; why is everyone upset at what he said?  We shouldn't have been paying attention.  The sponsors should be ecstatic that he is getting so much attention, instead of dropping his sponsorship.  Why is it that we allow people on the radio to say almost anything, including expressing their opinions- and then pick out one small insignificant occasion to slap them on their wrists?  It appears as though we operate like young children, only crying when mommy is listening.  This smacks of selective enforcement...



Two Lawyers on an Island

Two lawyers had been stranded on a desert island for several months. The only thing on the island was a tall coconut tree that provided them their only food.

Each day one of the lawyers would climb to the top to see if he could spot a rescue boat coming. One day the lawyer yelled down from the tree, "WOW, I just can't believe my eyes. There is a woman out there floating in our direction."

The lawyer on the ground was most skeptical and said, "You're hallucinating, you've finally lost your mind."

But within a few minutes, up on the beach floated a stunningly beautiful woman, face up, totally naked, unconscious, without even so much a ring or earrings on her person.

The two lawyers went down to the water, dragged her up on the beach and discovered, yes, she was alive, warm and breathing.

One said to the other, "You know, we've been on this God forsaken island for months now without a woman. It's been such a long, long time..... so ....do you think we should ....well ... you know ..... screw her?"

"Out of WHAT?" asked the other lawyer.




She was only a...

PLUMBER'S daughter but she sure gave my heart a wrench.

STABLEMAN'S daughter but she handled all the horse manure.

HACKER'S daughter but all her bits were in their proper arrays.

BUTCHER'S daughter but she could REALLY pack Salami!

GYNECOLOGIST'S daughter but she could sure play her vulva!

STOCKBROKER'S daughter but she could really ride the BULLS!

TAXI DRIVER'S daughter but she knew how to keep your meter running

ACCOUNTANT'S daughter but she sure knew how to keep her BOTTOM line profitable.

FARMER'S daughter but she knew her carrots from her carats!

FURRIER'S daughter but she knew how to produce minks!

PROGRAMMER'S daughter but she sure knew her 1's from her 0's!

SHEEP FARMER'S daughter but she sure knew how to fleece her flock!

PREACHER'S daughter but she sure knew how to fleece her flock!

FISHMONGER'S daughter she had crabs on her place, poor soul.

ELECTRICIAN'S daughter but she had all the right connections.

COAL MINER'S daughter but she had a mine of her own.

MARINE COLONEL'S daughter but she was rotten to the corps.

ARTIST'S daughter but she knew where to draw the line.

BUS DRIVER'S daughter but she knew where to get off.

ARCHITECT'S daughter but she knew all the angles.

FISHERMAN'S daughter but when she saw my rod she reeled.

MINISTER'S daughter but I wouldn't put anything pastor.

WELDER'S daughter but she had acetylene tits.
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