The most important question that you want to ask yourself is, "Do I want a BLATANT crook for President, or would I be satisfied with a person that APPEARS honest?"
THE LAWS
1. The Law of Common Sense
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
2. The Law of Reality
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
3. The Law of Self Sacrifice
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
4. The Law of Volunteering
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
5. The Law of Avoiding Oversell
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
6. The Law of Motivation
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
7. Boob's Law
You always find something in the last place you look.
8. Wailer's Law
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
9. Law of Probable Dispersal
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
10. Law of Volunteer Labor
People are always available for work in the past tense.
11. Conway's Law
In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on.
That person must be fired.
12. Iron Law of Distribution
Them that has, gets.
13. Law of Cybernetic Entomology
There is always one more bug.
14. Law of Drunkenness
You can't fall off the floor.
15. Heeler's Law
The first myth of management is that it exists.
16. Osborne's Law
Variables won't; constants aren't.
17. Main's Law
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
18. Weinberg's Second Law
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.
Ode to cranky men
I chanced to pass a window
While walking through a mall
With nothing much upon my mind,
Quite blank as I recall. I noticed in that window
A cranky-faced old man,
And why he looked so cranky
I didn't understand. Just why he looked at ME that way
Was more than I could see
Until I came to realize
That cranky man was ME!
No comments:
Post a Comment