I mad an appointment at the dentist and they x-rayed my jaw [I thought the problem was my jaw]. I apparently had a nerve die in the root of one of my molars which caused swelling in my gums and the domino effect that pushed pain all over the place.
I'm not one of these people that usually get sick or complain about pain. This was a new (hopefully not repeatable] experience.
Yesterday, I had a root canal to rectify the problem. The dentist [a special one that does just root canals (must be sadist)] drills trough the top portion of the tooth until he enters the root. Then he scrapes out the nerve from within each of the parts of the root. Eventually, that all gets filled in with some kind of inert cement. Hence, my live tooth is transformed into an inert implant- never to pain me again.
Isn't modern dentistry great? In the not too distant past, I would hire my barber to pull the sucker cause it was causing too much trouble. I would end up living the rest of my life with that tooth missing.
Guy explains to his doctor,
"Doc, when I got up this morning, I put on a pair of white gloves and started calling my wife Minnie. Then on the way to work I couldn't help singing 'Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to work I go', and when I got there I started calling everyone Happy, Grumpy, Dopey and so on.
What's the matter with me?"
"That's easy," replies the doctor. "You're having Disney spells."
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.
The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.
The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."
"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle, "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."
She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?"
"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.
"My, my," said the Poodle, "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."
She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?"
The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua.
He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says....
Liver alone. Cheese mine.
Psychiatrist and Proctologist Share An Office
Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time; and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.
Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors." The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids." This was also not acceptable.
So they again changed the sign. "Catatonics and High Colonics" - No go.
Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives" - thumbs down again.
Then came "Minds and Behinds" - still no good.
Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes" - unacceptable again.
So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts" - not a chance.
"Nuts and Butts" - no way.
"Freaks and Cheeks" - still no good.
"Loons and Moons" - forget it.
Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends". Everyone loved it.
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