Is there a conspiracy to know all about every one of us and how we interact with society? I believe so. It is not only focused marketing, but a "herding" towards the ideals of big business. Vote for my candidate, buy my products, watch these shows, read these books, go to these schools, drive these cars, live the lives that we prescribe. Who is big business to tell us that? What can I do to prevent it. The first thing that all of us has to do is come to grips with the reality of the situation, learn to control and manipulate it and deal responsibly with the consequences of their control. Is this Big Brother? Definitely we are making large (huge) strides in that direction.
Is IBM making a comeback? Microsoft is falling into the same category, but below IBM's market value. Can Microsoft still be viable in today's market? They will have to redefine themselves into a lean-mean-Chameleonic company that follows the market and even DRIVES it occasionally. Can they do that anymore? Are they as bloated as their software ? As the paradigms shift, will they as well? Or are they a has-been force?
AN ISRAELI ON VACATION
An Israeli is on vacation and is visiting a zoo in England when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.
Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside his cage, right under the eyes of her screaming parents.
The Israeli runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the Israeli brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him profusely.
A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter says to the Israeli:
'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've ever seen a man do in my lifetime.'
The Israeli replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little girl in danger and acted as I felt right.'
The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this doesn't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page.'
'So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?'
The Israeli replies, "I serve in the Israeli army and I vote for the Likud."
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the Israeli buys the paper to see news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
"RIGHT-WING ISRAELI ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH."
And that pretty much sums up the media's approach to Israel these days.
A truly Happy Person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. And, one who can enjoy browsing old cemeteries...
Some fascinating things on old tombstones!
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York :
Born 1903--Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
car was on the way down. It was.
=============================
In a Thurmont, Maryland , cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no
place to go.
=============================
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in
East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.. Only The
Good Die Young..
=============================
In a London , England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid
but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767
=============================
In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread, And
the Lord sent them manna.. Clark Wallace
wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.
===============================
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico , cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.... Pardon him
for not rising..
===============================
In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania , cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
==============================
In a Silver City , Nevada , cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.
================================
A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
and that is Strange.
=================================
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne,
England, cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.
==================================
In a cemetery in Hartscombe , England:
On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went
out of tune.
==================================
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls ,
Vermont:
Here lies the body of our Anna,
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
==================================
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket ,
Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease..
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.
==================================
In a cemetery in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so shall you be..
Remember this and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I'll not consent.
until I know which way you went.
Bad marketing translations
1. The Dairy Association's huge success with their campaign "Got
Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon
brought to their attention the Spanish translation read "Are you
lactating?"
2. Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it
was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea."
3. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following
in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."
4. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into
Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too
many people had use for the "Manure Stick."
5. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the
same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label.
Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put
pictures on the labels of what's inside, since many people can't
read.
6. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name
of a notorious pornographic magazine.
7. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the
Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I Saw
the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato" (la papa)
.
8. Pepsi's "Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation" translated into
"Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave" in Chinese.
9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Kekoukela",
meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with
wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000
characters to find a phonetic equivalent "kokou kole",
translating into "happiness in the mouth."
10. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "It takes a strong man to make
a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an
aroused man to make a chicken affectionate."
11. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads
were supposed to have read, "It won't leak in your pocket and
embarrass you." The company thought that the word "embarazar" (to
impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in
your pocket and make you pregnant"
12. When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather
first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its "Fly
In Leather" campaign literally, which meant "Fly Naked" (vuela en
cuero) in Spanish.
13. When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South
America, it was apparently unaware that "no va" means "it won't
go." After the company figured out why it wasn't selling any
cars, it renamed the car in its Spanish markets to the Caribe.
14. Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-
lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off."
15. The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem - Feeling
Free," got translated in the Japanese market into "When smoking
Salem, you feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and
empty."
16. Ford had a problem in Brazil when the Pinto flopped. The
company found out that Pinto was Brazilian slang for "tiny male
genitals". Ford pried all the nameplates off and substituted
Corcel, which means horse.
17. In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the
name into Schweppes Toilet Water.
18. Japan's second-largest tourist agency was mystified when it
entered English-speaking markets and began receiving requests for
unusual sex tours. Upon finding out why, the owners of Kinki
Nippon Tourist Company changed its name.
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