De-Trumped!

Recently it came to me that probably most of the inventions of modern man are really attempts at controlling nature.  For example, the internal combustion engine is man's attempt at controlling explosions.  Hydroelectric dams are man's attempt at controlling gravity.  Electronics are man's attempt at controlling the semiconducting nature of well placed elements and applying moving electrons (electricity).  There are many, many more examples, but the point that I was trying to make is that they are not always beneficial to man.  There are side effects that we end up with because we really don't totally understand all of the issues when we make the attempt.  For example, greenhouse gases, fallout from ruptured reactors, pollution... and on and on.  Why did it take me so long to realize that these were not just "inventions" but actual attempts to control some part of physical nature.

Well, as expected and predicted, we won't have Trump to kick around in an election.  Was this part of the original plan?  Or did he actually think that people would look past his "mouth" and see a true contender?  I think the GOP put him up to "stirring the mud" since Palin wasn't doing a good job any longer.  I don''t think he ever intended to run because he has too many shady deals in his past that would come to light.  Also he pontificates about the way the gubmint works and how it REALLY should work, when we all know that he has managed to take advantage of every tax break known to man (and maybe a few that aren't).  He should actually pray that nothing changes!

And then the cop said.........

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:


1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here." 

The Problem With Flowers

A blonde and a brunette are walking downtown when the brunette sees her boyfriend in a flower shop.

“Just great” the brunette complained to the blonde, “my boyfriend is in the flower shop buying me some flowers”.

The blonde responds, “Why is that a problem?”

The brunette replies, “Oh sure, now I am going to be spending all weekend with my legs spread and my feet up in the air.”

“Why” asked the blonde, “Don’t you have a vase?”