Schmaltz in Space?

This just in... NASA is testing rocket fuel made from chicken and beef fat!  This may be a step too far into "Green" space travel!   Mebbie KFC will advertise on NASA's rockets, since they will be spreading a "finger-lickin'" smell!

Second day of the Dukan diet leaves me with a low-grade headache that just lingers on.  I've been "good" and followed the plan outlined in the book.  So how many eggs can I really eat ?  So while there is a lot of variety, most of what you get to eat are eggs and yogurt.  BOOOOORING!

Now a pair of Apple customers have filed a lawsuit claiming an invasion of privacy over the so called tracking "bug", which is patent-pending [not much of a bug, then is it?].  Why did we expect Apple to tell us the truth?  There is way too much money involved....  There were some Senators interested.  When do you suppose the gubmint will get involved?

A man asks his wife...

"What would you do if I won the lottery?"

She says, "I would take half the money and leave your ass!"

He replies, "Good, I just won $7.00 on these scratch cards. Here's your $3.50, now get the hell out!" 

A quick Spanglish Lesson.............

1. *Cheese*

Maria likes me, but cheese ugly.

2. *Mushroom*

When all my family get in the car there's not mushroom.

3. *Shoulder*

My fren wants 2 become a citizen, but che didn't know how to read, so I, shoulder.

4. * Texas *

When I'm not home, my fren always Texas me, che wonders where I am!

5. *Herpes*

Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got mine piece, then che got herpes.

6. *July*

Ju told me ju were going to tha store but ju went to see sum guy, july to me! Julyer!

7. *Rectum*

I had 2 cars but my wife rectum!

8. *Chicken*

I was going to go to the store with my wife but che said chicken go herself.

9. *Wheelchair*

We only have one enchilada left but don't worry wheelchair.

10. *Chicken* *wing*

My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.

11. *Harassment*

My wife caught me in bed with another women. I told her, "Honey, harassment nothen to me.

12. *Bishop*

My wife fell down the stair so I had to pick the bishop.

13. *Body wash*

I want to go to the club but no body wash my kids.

14. *Budweiser*

That women has a nice body, Budweiser face so ugly?