Deputies in the Neighborhood With Automatic Rifles

So the big local news yesterday was that there was a fellow missing in the area that is suffering from Alzheimer's.  He lives in Tecolote Canyon, where we did about ten years ago.  There were helicopters (at least two or three) and Sheriff deputies in mass quantities scouring the neighborhoods all around.  When I went home last night, I was not surprised to see several Sheriff cars parked along the way, with deputies on foot.  One thing tat was strange, though, is they were armed with automatic rifles!  It wasn't until later on the news that I was informed that there had been a gang related stabbing at Goleta Beach and the escape van for the stabbers was found parked at the local high school, Dos Pueblos.  The deputies were scouring the high school and the neighborhoods for the perpetrators as well as the poor lost man.

This is hilarious: There are so many people in life that are NOT successful and NEVER will be.  Here is a list of people that are very successful, but never existed!!

Last night we watch a new show on Fox network called Mobbed.  It was intriguing at first, then extremely funny, then it brought tears to both of us.  The whole concept of FLASHMOB is amazing.  The effect that it has on people is outstanding.  This first show was absolutely great!

For those of you that couldn't resist GMAIL's new feature, SURPRISE- April Fool!  I'll have you believe that I wrote this blog while dancing and miming the words with my hands!

My wife told me of a news item that she was shocked at.  A sophomore at a local high school reacted to his elderly relative's complaint about always forgetting to take his pill OR worse forgetting that he already took it.  The student created a new app and sold it to Apple.  The app sells for 99 cents and he gets 60 cents our of every download.  Apparently, it is selling like wildfire. [I think women are buying it to remind them to take birth control pills!]  I am a software engineer and I have always thought that this would be a good form of income, especially when I retire.  Here is the unfortunate new, on two fronts; I would miss the boat.  One, I would have thought about creating a calendar with alarms to remind someone to do almost anything, instead of just remind you to take a pill or that you already did.  My implementation would contain too much MEAT for an app.  They have to be small with just a whiff of meat.  So I'm talking to my friends and they tell me it is too late to write an app.  The paradigm will be shifting soon to have all the apps on a cloud and all you will have on your phone is a shortcut.  I think it is part of a conspiracy to keep phones using data services versus being able to work independently or on WiFi only.

Thought for the day

Handle every situation like a dog.
If you can't eat it or hump it.
Piss on it and walk away.

Dear John Letters....
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely,
Google

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985

Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle

Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that Door for the both of us.
Sincerely,
Jack
PS, you let go

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely, Stevie Wonder

Dear Nickleback,
That's enough.
Sincerely, The World

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely, Black people

Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin

Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco....
Sincerely, United States

Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely, Parents Everywhere

Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely, Superman

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Global Warming,
You're the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely, Al Gore

Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely, Alcohol

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User

Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified

Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore

Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I
was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper

One day a man comes home from work to find total mayhem at home.
The kids were outside still in their pajamas playing in the mud
and muck. There were empty food boxes and wrappers all around.

As he proceeded into the house, he found an even bigger mess.
Dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken
glass under the table, and a small pile of sand by the back door.
The family room was strewn with toys and various items of
clothing, and a lamp had been knocked over.

He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his
wife. He was becoming worried that she may be ill, or that
something had happened to her.

He found her in the bedroom, still in bed with her pajamas on,
reading a book.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He
looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know everyday when you come
home from work and ask me what I did today?"

"Yes, was his reply."

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it!"

YESTERDAY WAS THURSDAY

Seven a.m., waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein' everything, the time is goin'
Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

Kickin' in the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend

7:45, we're drivin' on the highway
Cruisin' so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right, ay
I got this, you got this
Now you know it

Kickin' in the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin')
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today

Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after ... wards
I don't want this weekend to end