A while ago Google promised to upgrade some community's broadband service to fiber, with speeds on a par with Europe, for free. Over 1100 towns and cities vied for the chance, even Topeka temporarily changed its name to Google, Kansas. Kansas City, Kansas won the honor, and they are now reaping the benefits. For those of you that don't know, Google owns more "dark fiber" that any single entity in the world! Dark fiber is fiber-optic cable that has been laid, but is not operational (i.e. "lit"). We would all hope to be able to take advantage of this someday soon. Verizon has been making selected areas accessible to FIOS, which is their fiber system. What I haven't figured out is whether they own their fiber, or are they leasing broadband capacity from Google.
A very distinguished lady on a plane from Switzerland found herself seated next to a nice priest.
She asked, "Excuse me, Father, could I ask a favor?"
"Of course, my child, what can I do for you?"
"Here's the problem...... I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?"
"Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I can not lie."
"You have such an honest face, Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions."
She gave him the hair remover and the aircraft arrived at its destination.
At customs the priest was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son," he replied.
The customs officer asked, "And from the sash down, what do you have?"
The priest replied, "Well, I have a marvelous little instrument destined for use by women, but which has never been used."
Breaking out in laughter the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father. Next!"
Going To...But First...
I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it goes...
I decide to do work on the car, I start to the garage and notice the mail on the table. OK, I'm going to work on the car... BUT FIRST...
I'm going to go through the mail. Lay car keys down on desk. After discarding the junk mail, I notice the trash can is full. OK, I'll just
put the bills on my desk.... BUT FIRST...
I'll take the trash out, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox, I'll address a few bills.... Yes. Now, where is the checkbook? Oops..there's only one check left. Where did I put the extra checks? Oh, there is my empty plastic cup from last night on my desk. I'm going to look for those checks... BUT FIRST...
I need to put the cup back in the kitchen. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice the flowers need a drink of water, I put the cup on the counter and there's my extra pair of glasses on the kitchen counter. What are they doing here? I'll just put them away... BUT FIRST...
I need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! someone left the TV remote in the wrong spot. Okay, I'll put the remote away and water the plants... BUT FIRST...
I need to find those checks.
END OF DAY: Oil in car not changed, bills still unpaid, cup still in the sink, checkbook still has only one check left, lost my car keys,... And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because... I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY! I realize this condition is serious... I'd get help... BUT FIRST...
I think I'll check my e-mail.
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