Resistance is Not Futile... |
Today we went down to Ojai to spend a bit of time with Tori before she returns to school tomorrow. I noticed in the paper that there was an ad for the Ojai Peddler's Faire and it sounded like fun. We were glad it was free because it was very disappointing. Fortunately, one of our favorite restaurants is there, so the whole day wasn't lost.
HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
"Bubba,
Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and
messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell
from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside. Be right back.
Cooter
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