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It was no fun coming home in the dark tonight. That hour we lost Sunday REALLY made a difference. Max was waiting for me when I opened the door. You could see on his face: "Dark or light- I need to go for a walk or you are going to have a mess to clean up!"
A Scottish lad and lass were sitting together on a heathery hill in the Highlands. They had been silent for a while when the lass said,
"A penny for ye thoughts Angus."
The lad was a bit abashed, but he finally said,
"Well Mary, I was thinkin' how nice it would be if ye'd give me a wee bit of a kiss."
So she did so.
But he again lapsed into a pensive mood which lasted long enough for the lass to ask him,
"What are ye thinkin' now Angus?"
To which the lad replied:
"Well, I was hopin' ye hadn't forgot the penny!"
Two teenage boys turned up at church and the first went in for confession. He told the priest he'd had sex the night before.
"Who was the girl involved?" asked the priest.
"I don't know, it was dark," replied the boy.
"Was it Bernadette McLafferty?"
The boy said he still didn't know.
"Was it Theresa O'Hare.........or Rosemary McGinty?" asked the priest.
"I don't know, it was too dark," insisted the boy.
"Could it have been Anne-Marie, the baker's daughter?" asked the priest.
The boy continued to deny any knowledge of the girl's identity.
Finally, the exasperated priest sent the boy away and told him to return when he could reveal the girl's name.
Outside his friend was waiting anxiously.
"Did you get absolution?" he asked.
"Naw," said his pal, "but I got four good leads for this Saturday night!"
An gentleman walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, 'by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the man and said 'There's no money in that account.'
'I know,' said the man, 'But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!'
See......Sometimes wisdom does come with age !
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