So this is my last blog entry for a few days. I'll be on the road in Georgia and South Carolina returning on the tenth and I hope to make a new entry sometime soon after that. I'm sure I will have many new experiences to share...
The Lone Ranger's Last Request 
1. The "complimentary" paper tells you that President Nixon has resigned.
2. The mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to it.
3. There is still some stuff that they put around crime scenes that is yellow.
4. The pictures are not placed for decoration but to cover up recent bullet holes.
5. You have to wait until the guy next door is done with the towel so you can use it.
6. There's a chalk outline in the bed when you pull back the covers.
7. The desk clerk has to move the body in order to get some ice for you.
8. Your wake up call comes courtesy of a police helicopter
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.
The Indian Chief proclaims,
"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ...
"In honour of the Harvest Festival,
YOU will be executed in three days.."
"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"
"What is your FIRST request???'
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is brought
Before the Lone Ranger who whispers in
Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
"What is your FIRST request???'
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is brought
Before the Lone Ranger who whispers in
Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed..
"You have a very fine and loyal horse",
"But I will still kill you in two days."
"What is your SECOND request???"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse.
Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde."You have a very fine and loyal horse",
"But I will still kill you in two days."
"What is your SECOND request???"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse.
Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.
She enters the Lone Rangers tent And spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow."
"What is your LAST request ???"
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse, .... Alone."
The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
"READ MY LIPS!!!!" FOR... THE.... LAST... TIME...
"BRING POSSE"
The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow."
"What is your LAST request ???"
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse, .... Alone."
The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
"READ MY LIPS!!!!" FOR... THE.... LAST... TIME...
"BRING POSSE"
Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day.
Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on.
One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol ... Sol ..."
Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes, it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.
Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.
Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."
Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"
Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on.
One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol ... Sol ..."
Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes, it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.
Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.
Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."
Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"
Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy.
Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV:
"Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package."
Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV:
"Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package."
2. The mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to it.
3. There is still some stuff that they put around crime scenes that is yellow.
4. The pictures are not placed for decoration but to cover up recent bullet holes.
5. You have to wait until the guy next door is done with the towel so you can use it.
6. There's a chalk outline in the bed when you pull back the covers.
7. The desk clerk has to move the body in order to get some ice for you.
8. Your wake up call comes courtesy of a police helicopter
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