Great reading by James Carville regarding the pollution of Louisiana: OIL
Bit o' tid: Isn't it interesting how Toyota and it's ills have gone almost completely off the new radar ? Did it ever get fixed ? Did they tell us what the problem was ? Did the dealers upload the firmware fix to the computers of all the recalled-for-gas pedal or floormat fixes ? Were they ever fined or just slapped on the hand ?
My Boss
A young engineer was leaving the office at 3:45 pm when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of 
Bit o' tid: Isn't it interesting how Toyota and it's ills have gone almost completely off the new radar ? Did it ever get fixed ? Did they tell us what the problem was ? Did the dealers upload the firmware fix to the computers of all the recalled-for-gas pedal or floormat fixes ? Were they ever fined or just slapped on the hand ?
My Boss
paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here.. Can you make this
thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine, "I just need two copies."
Lesson: Never, Never, ever assume that your boss knows what he's doing.
The four Goldberg Brothers
The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.
The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.
Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.
They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.
The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.
The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner, ' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.
Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords.
They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.
And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show -- Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max -- on the controls.
Political Science Explained
Dictatorship In Theory: The biggest bully is in charge. He gets a steak, his lackies get a hamburger, you get a potato. Dictatorship in Practice: The biggest bully is in charge. He gets steak, kills a lacky and gets a hamburger, and kills you to get a potato. His lackies get a hamburger and kill you to get a potato. You are lucky to escape with your life much less a potato.
Communism in Theory: Everybody gets a hamburger.
Communism in Practice: Whoever is in charge gets a steak, his lackies get a hamburger, and you get in line for a potato.
Conservatism in Theory: Steak is the product of traditional values.
Conservatism in practice: Steak is the product of lying through your teeth. Believers get potatos.
Democracy in Theory: The majority votes for man who will help them get a steak.
Democracy in Practice: Vote for man who promises you a steak, gives you a potato, and calls it a hamburger.
Imperialism in Theory and Practice: Weaker nations thriving on potatos must be overthrown so that they may know the virtue and superiority of steak.
Fascism in Theory: Weaker nations supply the fatherland with steak! The fatherland will expand! We shall all eat steak!
Fascism in Practice: The man in charge gets a steak. His lackies get a steak. If you work hard enough and keep your mouth shut, you get a potato.
Monarchy in Theory: The King is ordained by God to get a steak, all loyal servants get a hamburger.
Monarchy in Practice: One family shares a potato so the King and all his lackies can get a steak.
Socialism in Theory: Everybody gets a hamburger.
Socialism in Practice: Everybody gets a hamburger whether they want it or not.
Theocracy in Theory: Whether you get a steak, hamburger, or potato is the will of God.
Theocracy in pracice: You die, killing several others, with an explosive potato strapped to your chest.
Capitalism in Theory: Get a potato, hamburger, or steak, depending on how hard you work.
Capitalism in practice: Give your hard earned steak to a man who already has a steak so you can get the latest iPotato.
You Might Be a Redneck IF
* you were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.
* you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.
* your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed.
* you no longer drink wine ever since the screw cap got caught up your nose.
* you think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
* that billboard that says, “Say No To Crack” reminds you to pull up your jeans.
* your wife's hairdo was ever ruined by a ceiling fan.
* you go to your family reunions looking for a date.
* you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
* your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
* you've got more than three cousins named “Bubba”.
* you have an Elvis Jell-O mold.
* taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
* you've got more than one other named “Darryl”.
* you ever won first prize in a tobacco spittin' contest.
* on Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.
* you've ever come home and found crime scene tape across your front porch.
* your favorite entree is Spam barbecued on the grill.
* your child's first words were, “Attention K-Mart shoppers!”.
* your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.
* your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin'.
* you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”
* you kissed your own wife at midnight at the New Year's Eve party.
* you've ever taken reading material into an airplane restroom.
* you've ever gotten an official letter of recognition from a tobacco or beer company.
* you vacuum the sheets instead of washing them.
* you've ever valet parked a snow plow.
* you've ever stood in line to have your picture made with a freak of nature.
* you break wind in public and blame it on your kid.
* you've ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.
* you've ever paid for a six-pack of beer with pennies.
* there are hubcap wind chimes anywhere on your block.
* you have a Bud Light pool-table light hanging over your dining room table.
* the strongest smell in your house is butane.
* you think paprika is a Third World country.
* you ask the preacher, “How's it hanging?”
* you go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
* you have a bumper sticker that says, “My mother's an honor student” at the local junior high.
* you think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeuvre.
* you played the banjo in your high school band.
* the UFO hotline limits you to one call per day.
* your spring wardrobe mostly involves using scissors.
* your tires are worth more than your truck.
* you tried to claim “loss of teeth” as an exemption on your taxes.
* your daddy's legacy is a gun rack and Jerry Clower's autograph on a Stuckey's napkin.
* you bought your best pair of shoes off the impulse rack by the register.
* you think beef jerky and Moonpies are two of the major food groups.
* you take out a home improvement loan to buy a new camper shell.
* you and six of your neighbors split a cable bill.
* Jack Daniels makes your list of most admired people.
* you prefer car keys to Q-tips.
* you have a sign on your front door explaining house rules and liability.
* people don't recognize your car without a dead animal on the hood.
* your mailbox holds up one end of your clothesline.
* you participate in a “Who can spit tobacco the farthest?” contest.
* you know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball cap.
* you're not actually able to read The Richard Petty Story, but you do like to look at the pictures.
* you've ever had to appear in court because of your dogs.
* the front license plate of your car has the words “Foxy Lady” written in airbrush.
* your checks feature pictures of dogs fighting.
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