That was some comeback for the Lakers last evening. As I predicted, it appears as though there was some effort to force seven games of play- certainly for the money that it brought both clubs. The seventh game though, with the exception of very poor to nonexistent foul calls, appeared to be the REAL thing- with both teams struggling to gain and keep a small lead. It REALLY only shows how evenly matched the teams are, that they managed to keep the score so close throughout the game.
Locally, it is extremely difficult to imagine that Chief Prosecutor Josh Lynn was fired by the acting DA just after losing the elections to Joyce Dudley. I smell a suit brewing. We shall all find out the truth (I hope) then.
THE GORILLA AND THE REDNECK
A small zoo in Arkansas obtained a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to
handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker attending college in Rogers Arkansas who was responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks attending college in Arkansas , had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.
The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:
'First', Bobby Lee said, 'I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips.' The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
'Second', he said, 'She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt.' The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
'Third', he said, 'you can't never tell no one about this.' The keeper again readily agreed to this condition
'Fourth', Bobby Lee said, 'I want all the children raised Southern Baptist.' Once again it was agreed.
'And last,' Bobby Lee said, 'I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00.
Two Siamese Twins walk into a bar
and the bartender knows them, and after serving the beers asks them where they are going on vacation. Syd replies that they are going to London like they do every year. The bartender replies, "Every year?"
Syd replies, "It the only chance Jim gets to drive."
Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter....
First Woman : "My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me.
Second Woman : "I know..."
First Woman : "How?"
Second Woman : "My dog told me."
A New Wine For Seniors
California Vinters in the Napa Valley area. which primarily produces Pinot Blanc,
Pinot Noir and Pinot Griglo wines have developed a new hybrid grape that acts
as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to
make to the bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be marketed as Pino More
A Child's View of Retirement
After a Christmas break, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holidays. One small boy wrote the following:
We always used to spend Christmas with Grandpa and Grandma. They used to live here in a big brick home, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida.
Now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people. They all live in little tin boxes. They ride on big three-wheeled tricycles and they all wear nametags because they don't know who they are.
They go to a big building called a wrecking hall; but if it was wrecked, they got it fixed because it's all right now. They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very good.
There is a swimming pool there. They go into it and just stand there with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim.
As you go into their park, there is a dollhouse with a little man sitting in it. He watches all day so they can't get out without him seeing them. When they can sneak out they go to the beach and pick up shells that they think are dollars.
My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. Nobody cooks, they just eat out. They eat the same thing every night, Early Birds. Some of the people are so retarded that they don't know how to cook at all, so my Grandma and Grandpa bring food into the wrecked hall and they call it "pot luck."
My Grandma says Grandpa worked hard all his life and earned his retardment. I wish they would move back up here, but I guess the little man in the dollhouse won't let them out.
By Any Other Name
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques; visualization, association... it made a huge difference for me."
"That's great! What was the name of the clinic?"
Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember.
Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. . ."Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
Don't Mess With Old People
Harold was an old man. He was sick and in the hospital. There was one young nurse that just drove him crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "And how are we doing this morning, or are we ready for a bath, or are we hungry?"
Old Harold had had enough of this particular nurse. One day, Old Harold had
breakfast, pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his bed side stand.
He had been given a urine bottle to fill for testing. The juice was apple juice. So .. you know where the juice went!
The nurse came in a little later, picked up the urine bottle and looked at it. "My, but it seems we are a little cloudy today .." At this, Old Harold snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time."
The nurse fainted ...! Old Harold just smiled!
DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE!!!!
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