Well I've had enough yard work today. We bagged another ten trash bags. It's actually quite amazing considering we couldn't see any of the stuff we bagged before I trimmed the vines on the fence.
Last night we watched Young Victoria and It's Complicated. They were both entertaining, but I think Young Victoria lost something plot-wise. It's Complicated was dry at times and other times, hilarious!
For the rest of the day, we both tried very hard not to do anything!
A young blond female stock broker was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with it's gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blond hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong? Then at that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her and a quick phone call to the AutoClub and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her. "That's a lovely car," says the mechanic. "What seems to be the matter?" Well, it just conked out I'm afraid." "Let me have look." He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat again. "Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter ?" "Simple really, just crap in the carburetor," he replied. Looking shocked she asked, "Oh, OK. How many times a week do I have to do that?"
A pastor was visiting an elderly lady who was a "shut in." Since she didn't get very many visitors, she went on incessantly about her problems while the pastor nibbled on some peanuts on the coffee table in front of him. After about a half hour, and with his endurance almost expended, he politely interrupted, explaining that he had other appointments that afternoon and said, "I'm afraid I've eaten most of your peanuts while I was listening and I would like to leave you a couple of dollars so that you can get some more." "No," replied the woman, "With my dentures I can't chew them. It's all I can do just to suck the chocolate off them."
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the porch in their rockers just talking 'girl' talk. Emma: My word Matilda! You and Johnny were married for quite some time. How many years was that anyway? Matilda: Oh, we were married for 65 wondrous years. Emma: My-oh-my-oh-my! But can you tell me in all that time did you two ever have mutual orgasm? Matilda: I don't think so. I believe we had State Farm.
No comments:
Post a Comment