Coasting into Friday....

A fabulous day today.  It looks like spring is here (except for predicted rain tomorrow and next week).  Finally shook the headache that I woke up with and it has made it glorious.

A word about the killer whale incident: We forget that no matter how much training and performing, that they are still wild.  They will never lose the fact that they are killer whales.  This is the same thought regarding the tigers mauled the trainer in Las Vegas, or the chimpanzee that attacked the woman.  They are wild animals, and although cute, still capable of wreaking havoc at their whim.

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not ' EASY ' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO- BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a ' BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not ' GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL A$$' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'

One day, there were 2 elderly women sitting out front of their nursing home just shooting the breeze and smoking their cigarettes. Now these women were in their late 70's early 80's. They were having so much fun reminiscing about the old days, they didn't want to stop even though it began to rain. So they're reminiscing and smoking when the rains came. One of the old ladies, not want her cigarette to get wet, pulled out a condom and started to place it over the cigarette. The other old lady, looking confused and in shock, ask her, "What the heck are you doing with that condom?" The first old lady told her that she didn't want to get her cigarette wet with in the rain and the condom will keep it dry. Second old lady said that it was a VERY good idea and ask where she could get some condoms. The 1st lady told her that you can get them at the drug store.
The next day, the 2nd elderly woman went to the drug store and walked up to the pharmacists' counter. The pharmacist ask how he could help the old lady. She told him that she needed a pack of condoms. The pharmacist began to blush and was a little embarrassed, but kept being professional and asked her what type she wanted. She looked at the pharmacist without missing a beat and said, "Oh, it doesn't matter sonny as long as it fits a camel."