'One for you, one for me One for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.'
The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'
The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord.'
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done.'
They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.
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“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure ... that just ain’t so.” — Mark Twain
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The Potter Philosophy on Exercising
1. It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per
month.
2. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where she is.
3. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
4. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
5. I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
6. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up on our body.
7. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
8. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
9. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
10. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
11. I don't jog, it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
Now unlike Potter, I know that physical exercise is good for you. I've listed below my program of strenuous activities. You are invited to use my program without charge.
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The Potter Philosophy on Exercising
1. It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per
month.
2. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where she is.
3. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
4. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
5. I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
6. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up on our body.
7. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
8. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
9. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
10. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
11. I don't jog, it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
Now unlike Potter, I know that physical exercise is good for you. I've listed below my program of strenuous activities. You are invited to use my program without charge.
1) Beating around the bush
2) Jumping to conclusions
3) Climbing the walls
4) Swallowing my pride
5) Passing the buck
6) Throwing my weight around
7) Dragging my heels
8) Pushing my luck
9) Making mountains out of molehills
10) Hitting the nail on the head
11) Wading through paperwork
12) Bending over backwards
13) Jumping on the bandwagon
14) Balancing the books
15) Running around in circles
16) Tooting my own horn
17) Climbing the ladder of success
18) Pulling out the stops
19) Adding fuel to the fire
20) Opening a can of worms
21) Putting my foot in my mouth
22) Starting the ball rolling
23) Going over the edge
24) Picking up the pieces
Happy Exercising!
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