Irritations

Time to expose some pet peeves:

1.) Educated people should be able to spell or at least utilize a spell checker before they submit a document or ad, yet multiple times a day their irreverence or ignorance is revealed by spelling and grammar errors.

2.) Many people are selfish to the point of being offensive.

3.) Dog owners that do pick up their dog's waste should find a receptacle for the baggie, rather than just depositing it alongside the sidewalk or trail as though they were going to pick it back up on the way back, but don't. This is almost as bad as those dog owners that don't pick up their dog's waste at all.

4.) Why are all the good shows on the same nights and times?  This forces recording of the shows, which the producers don't like, but they just about bring it on themselves.

5.) I definitely dislike the people hanging around the supermarket doors that want contributions for some political cause.  Why do they think that the customers there are any more politically motivated than, say Home Depot?

6.) I can't stand people that can't even take a breath before everything that occurs is put on Facebook.  They take pics of their meals, and even their parking space, and Facebook 'em to share.  I certainly don't care, nor do I  believe anyone does.  I was never too keen on Facebook anyway, and only had an account to watch over my kids' pages.  I have since deactivated it because my kids are grown (?).

7.) I hate calling someplace that has options for me to choose on my phone, and the first one is English.  Why not have that be the default ?

Clear Direction

At this point in my job search (or depression), having completed an application and submitting it is substantially satisfying.  That feeling usually dissipates when I realize that all indications are such that I will never hear from the advertising company's HR department.

Another issue that I have discovered, is that new positions seem to be advertised by almost all the local companies, at the same time.  So there is a burst of excitement, a frenzied effort, and then a long dry period while awaiting the next cycle.  I use that period of time for learning and refreshing my skills.

Also, jobs and contracts have a way of dissolving when it comes down to an actual commitment to pay the possible new hire.

What does it mean when you don't hear back after an interview?  Are they wish-washy on making you an offer, or are they waiting until the first choice turns them down before they deal with you?  I knew it was going to be a stretch to come from defense work into medical devices.  I certainly thought, though, that it wasn't that big of a stretch...

New Cell Phone
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband.

"Hi hun," he says, "how do you like your new phone?"

His wife replied, "I just love. It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though."

"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.

The blonde replied, "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
 

Civil Servant
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are. The first one says, "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow".

The second one says, "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet".

The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says, "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45!!"

Continued HR Frustration

I have recently had a set of strange experiences with the HR of one company.  They call and don't leave a message.  Returning their call at that number never gets answered.  Finally days later, I pick up the phone and I'm told that I am hard to contact.  Somehow they hang up on me, and I wait days until they call again.  On my resume, there are not only two phone numbers, but also an email address.  Is this group restricted to spend only a maximum of five seconds to contact me, and only one attempt per week ??

Well, they decided to bring me in on a face-to-face interview.  The building appeared very dilapidated and the furniture looked like the purchased it at a thrift store.  The three managers that I spoke to admitted to me that I am overqualified for the position and couldn't understand why I would apply.

First of all, it was not apparent that the job was not a senior position.  Second, while it would be a cut in pay; it would not be the first or last time that a candidate had to take a lower paying job, just to get one.  I believe that the straw that broke the camel's back was that as they described what they wanted out of the successful candidate, I explained to them that that job is for a more senior person and a number of other issues that they had not considered.  They thanked me for making them aware of those issues, and returned from the holes from whence they came.

Consequently, they sent me a canned "not really a good fit" email.  I guess it is important not to overwhelm your interviewers with issues they had not considered, at least until after you are hired.

Collect Call
Vicky was at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home collect. Her six-year-old son picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say, “We have Vicky on the line. Will you accept the charges?” Frantic, the six-year-old dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, “Dad! They have Mom! And they want money!”

Anticlimactic Event

Well the big face-to-face interview is over. It was four hours plus lunch.  I think it went well, but time will show one way or the other.  It took two phone interviews to get the face-to-face one.  Now the waiting game continues.  Meanwhile, there is absolutely nothing else to apply for.

In the last post I was speaking about the possible stigma of my last employer on my resume.  Unfortunately, it was true.  One HR recruiter wanted to know if I was really ready to accept a cut in pay, and for how long would I be happy with that?  She didn't even ask what my salary was, and only referred to my former employer.  Between that stigma and the amount of experience and education I have, I have managed to eliminate myself from most jobs that I qualify for.  Sooooooo wrong.

BTW, if you are reading this, sign up to follow this blog.  My statistics need a boost....

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70 and beyond:
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run—anywhere.
04. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 5 PM.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.
Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!
P.S. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night!

Minimum Wage Earner
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.

When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt.

As luck would have it, they matched.

Lost & Found
As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag. When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me.

One man handed me my pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of my purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there."

As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse. And we'd like to see just how you do it."

Hiker's Comments
A wilderness area asked hikers to fill out comment cards. These are actual comments left by hikers:

- Trail needs to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.

- Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.

- Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter.

- Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.

- The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.

- A small deer came into my camp and stole my jar of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call XXX-XXX-XXXX.

- Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.

- Escalators would help on steep uphill sections.

- Need more signs to keep area pristine.

- A McDonalds would be nice at the trailhead.

- The places where trails do not exist are not well marked.

- I brought lots of sandwich makings, but forgot bread. If you have extra bread, leave it in the yellow tent at V Lake.

- Too many rocks in the mountains.

Service
One Sunday morning, the priest saw little Davey staring up at the large plaque that hung in the church's foyer. The plaque was covered with names and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.

"Father Donovan," the boy asked, "what is this?

"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service," the priest explained. They stood together quietly, staring at the memorial plaque.

Little Davey softly asked, "Which service? The 9:00 or the 10:30?"

Before You Meet With God
A man died and went to The Judgment. St. Peter met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, "Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you -- we've looked at your life, and you really didn't do anything particularly good or bad. We're not at all sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?"

The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, "Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a group of bikers. So I pulled over, got out my tire iron, and went up to the leader of the bikers. He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me!"

"I'm impressed," St. Peter responded, "When did this happen?"

"About two minutes ago," came the reply.