A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car. She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse and said to the woman,
"You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."
The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been left on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time had locked their keys in their car. She looked at the hanger and said,
"I don't know how to use this."
She bowed her head and asked God to send her help.
Within five minutes a beat-up old motor cycle pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.
The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.
The man got off of his bike and asked if he could help.
The woman said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
The biker said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened.
The woman hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank you so much! You are a very nice man."
The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out an hour."
The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, 'Oh, thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!'
Kulula is an Airline with head offices situated in Johannesburg. Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
THE NEW ABRIDGED MEDICAL DICTIONARY (Source: Edmonton Journal)
BARIUM: What doctors do when patients die.
COLIC: A sheep dog.
D&C: Where Bill Clinton lives.
DILATE: To live longer.
FESTER: Quicker.
HANGNAIL: Coat hook.
IMPOTENT: Distinguished, well known.
LABOR PAIN: Get hurt at work.
MEDICAL STAFF: A doctor's cane.
MORBID: A higher offer.
NITRATES: Cheaper than day rates.
NODE: Was aware of.
OUTPATIENT: A patient who fainted.
PAP SMEAR: A fatherhood test.
PELVIS: Cousin to Elvis.
RECOVERY ROOM: A place to do upholstery.
RECTUM: Dang near killed 'em.
TERMINAL ILLNESS: Getting sick at your computer.
TUMOR: More than one.
URINE: Opposite of "You're out".
