So Terre and Tori are down at the parade and I'm waiting for my perspective Vette buyer.
Well, he came about an hour earlier than he said he would. He checked the car from one end to the other, drove it AND appeared very interested. Rather than reacting to emotions (as he said), he went away to think about it.
I feel as though I really need a vacation, even if somewhere close. Honestly, I'd settle for a good book and two palm trees close enough for a hammock.
Accord to Terre, who has now returned, this year's parade was "lackluster".
A man came home from work sporting two black eyes.
"What happened to you?" asked his wife.
"I'll never understand women," he replied. "I was riding up on an
escalator behind this pretty young girl, and I noticed that her
skirt was stuck in the crack of her ass. So I pulled it out. She
turned around and punched me in the eye!"
"I can certainly appreciate that," said the wife, "But how did
you get the second black eye?"
"Well, I figured she liked it that way," said the husband, "So I
pushed it back in."
Freya was driving her Chevrolet Vega home in New Mexico when she saw an elderly Apache woman walking along the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a lift?
With a silent nod, the woman climbed into the car. Freya tried in vain to make conversation with the Apache woman.
The old Apache looked closely at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a red gift bag on the seat next to Freya.
'What's in the bag?' asked the old woman.
'It's a bottle of gin that I got for my husband.'
The Apache woman was silent for another minute or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, 'Good trade.'
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no - he only lives a mile away.
About five blocks from the party the police pull him over for weaving all over the road, ask him to get out of the car and take the breathalyser test. Just as he is about to blow into the bag, the police radio informs the policemen of a robbery taking place in a house a short distance away.
The police tell the partygoer to remain where he is, they will be right back; and they run down the street to the robbery.
The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has 'flu and has been in bed all day.
A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. X lives there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with 'flu and has been there all day. However, the police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car, and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find the police car, lights still flashing.
The Blackfeet asked their Chief in autumn, if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing the answer, the chief replies that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared.
Being a good leader, he then went to the nearest phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter to be cold?" The man on the phone responded, "This winter was going to be quite cold indeed."
So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it going to be a very cold winter?"
"Yes," the man replied, "its going to be a very cold winter."
So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find
every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again and asks "Are you absolutely sure, that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely" the man replies, "the Blackfeet are collecting wood like crazy!"
